Tuesday, April 1, 2008

Get me out of this Darkness

I pondered for a long time today about posting and then found a blog with a lady who is in despair and doesn't care about life anymore and it almost felt like she was writing about me. I am not going to give up on my dream of getting my parents home until the last ounce of breathe is gone from me. I go from anger to joy of thinking of living there permanently. My dream craft room is there and it's the only thing that is keeping me going, plus the prayers from people I have never met. If my dream fails, I am going to seperate myself from all the negative forces that incompass me at times. I know that I too can be negative, but I am always there for other people to help in any way I can, but when it's time for help, every one in my life is busy. It was a very difficult move and I have helped people pack and move so many times that I thought about going into the packing business.

I want to be happy again and smile like there is no tomorrow, but it isn't coming easy. I miss crafting because it always got me out of the darkness I felt at times. I miss my parents so much and thinking that their house may go to a stranger is heartening for me.

I am leaving again tonight to go back to their house and will miss all of you. Please don't forget me while I'm gone-lol. You have helped me through some bad times and the person I need most is always busy and I can understand to a point. I have never been too busy for those I love. I have often changed my plans to fit their needs, but never once have I gotten that from those I need.

I am excited about visiting my daughter in Vancouver, Wa, so if any of you live near, let me know---maybe you would like to join me on Main St. to tour some great little shops, including my daughters.

Will see you in about a week. Have a great week and I will check on you when I return. Love and Hugs, Pat


SweetAnnee said...

Pat sweetie
I'm praying for you. I know how
uplifting creating is.and how
hard it is to create sometimes.

When life gets really dark, I close
my eyes and envision what I think Jesus looks like..and when I see His face, I feel peace..
love is all there is

Anonymous said...

Hi Pat,
My heart feels your pain and sadness, and I wish you a thousand happy wishes. Hope things look up for you soon.

Joyce said...

Sorry your feeling a bit gloomy Pat....but the weather has been overcast and gloomy and HUMID here so that can affect you as well. It's that weird "Seasonal stuff." It bother's lots of people.

I went out and sat in the sunshine the other day for about an hour and read. That is always such a good thing for me and my joints as well.

When are you going on your trip?? Maybe a change of scenery will help you out some.

I will be praying for you and I am already and have been wondering how you have been.
Try to hang in there....see the cup as "half full" if you can.
Hopefully things will work out for you with your parents home but if not....then God has a bigger plan and purpose for you!
Something will work out and it will be okay regardless because you will carry your dreams and visions where ever you go.

Transitions are hard though. There's not doubting that part at all. Plus you have suffered many losses so it's all a huge hurt that is still trying to heal up.

Crafting is about "forming" and using your talents and creating, so when you do it.....it does make you feel good and feel as if you have accomplished something worthwhile...beause you have. Something GOOD! So do it if you can and when you can.

I will be checking back in on you.
If you need to talk...please e-mail me. Remember...I'm just up the road a tiny bit. :~)
Be blessed,

Lola Enchanted said...

Hello Pat... I came by to thank you for the lovely comment you left me on my blog and when I read the comment I thought to myself 'wow, she's having it harder than me, what am I crying about'...(we all have our struggles) but, we all cope in different ways and nobody is worst or better than anyone else.. I hope you can get your parents house. It would short of kill me to see my mother's home go to a stranger after she had past.... Thank god above my mother is still here! (we're like best friends) and I can say what everyone else says... open your windows, smell the roses... etc. etc... but, I don't think that will help here! You need a safe place.. YOu need your parents place.. I sure hope you get it... I will be praying for you! You need it!!!!!!~
Take care!!!!!~

Anonymous said...

HUGS Pat!!! I understand your sadness but please don't let it consume you.. there is a reason for everything and even though that is hard to hear I know you know that statement is true.

I hope you have a good visit in WA.. I wish I lived closer so we could finally meet in person after knowing each other for so many years... take care of yourself!!

Counting Your Blessings said...

Praying with you for that house and praying now more than ever before Christ will be your dwelling place. Blessings... Polly

Nettie said...

I know exactly what you're going through & it's best not to let it be all consuming which is easier said then done I know, take care.
Hope you have a wonderful time visiting your daughter.
Thanks for your comments on my blog.

Mary Isabella said...

I am remembering you in my prayers. I pray for our God to shower you with his blessings....Mary

carole said...

Hi Pat:
I went to Michael's (local craft store) today because I had 2 of their gift cards to use and met a lady who is a super paper/scrapbook artist.
She was nice and gave me some advice and told what glue to buy
: ) Their paper was half off so I spent a bit on the papers and 2 bottles of glue. Now I will start looking for stamps (used).
Her etsy shop is papersilly.com and she is so nice.
I am trying to cheer you up, is it working, my friend?
Take care
Love & Orayers to you

IsabellaCloset said...

Dear Pat, Please know you are in my thoughts and prayers...I hope you will be able to get your parents house. I know how much you miss them.
Sorry for not stopping by your blog sooner.
Life is just so hard...
I too want you to be happy again. I do understand your depression.
Take care you are such a great Gal!
Hugs & much love ~Mary~

FourSistersInACottage said...

Praying for you Pat!!!
Please remember, there is a reason for everything. Even tho we might not see why right away, God will always show us why, even if it's down the road.
Hugs and Love my sweet friend,
(PS...I am sending your treasures to you today so you should hopefully be home when they get there)

Debbie said...

HI Pat, I was just cleaning out my inbox and came across the nice comment you left on my Red Hat blog way back in February. I feel awful that it has taken me so long to come by yours, especially since you are going through such a difficult time! I'm so sorry. We had to sell my parents beautiful home on 90 plus acres after my mother died four years ago, so I can relate to your heartache. It's even more painful when you feel so all alone. I'm glad you have the Lord to lean on. His love never fails, but sometimes it's nice to have someone with flesh and bones to lean on too!

Julie said...

I am sorry you are having to go through this. It is hard indeed - I have been there.

Please stop by my blog when you have time and read about a creative contest I am holding with a great prize. If you are not interested - please forward it onto as many people as you can. Thank you!

Ele at abitofpinkheaven said...

Sending prayers and encouragement. I wish you well and hope that you get the help needed. We miss you!

marylou said...

Hi Pat,
Check my blog when you can, it may be helpful. It was for me;)
Sending much love your way!!
Embrace Life
Marylou ^-^