Thursday, May 15, 2008

Nasty weather in the south

Hi everyone. Just wanted to check in before I leave. Hopefully my laptop will have internet service soon. A dear sweet friend is sending me a wireless card, so now I can contact ATT and keep in touch. I cried when she e-mailed me and this is the bestest RAK.

Things are rougher now and I lost my best friend (not by death). I never dreamed this would happen, but too many bad words cut through my heart. I know the wound will heal, but it's hard to forget the horrible things I was called----a money grubbing bitch. If I were truly that, I would be begging for help to get that little $25,000 house so I could get away from all the things that are killing my spirit. I have resigned myself and to God to let Him handle everything as He sees fit. I do believe in God's justice and He doesn't come down to punish, but in the bible, it clearly calls for His justice. I have seen the bad things that happened to people who hurt me badly, but now I am praying that He will forgive them.

I hope you all had a wonderful Mothers Day. Mine was spent in bed. I collasped Saturday night from sheer mental and physical exhaustion. My dr was at a pain seminar, but they called on Monday and will be changing my meds and calling my PCP to see if they will do my injections for me, since the one who would give them to, will no longer do it. She was here 2 weeks in a row and refused.

I am happy right now and I refuse to become a doormat again. We moved this person 5 times in 4 years and never got helped when I moved, but now she finds the time to help another pack her things and put them in storage.

The succession is not going as the will stated, so I may have to get an attorney, so will check into legal aid, so it won't cost me anything. I didn't make the debts that are owed on the estate and they should be going after the one who owes it, so that all debts are clear and we won't have to sell our parents furniture and things. The money means nothing, it's now about principal.

I am thinking of changing my blog, so that unwanted people can't find it. I will let you all know when that happens.

Yolanda and Mary, I have not forgotten about the RAK. I am busy collecting just the right things for each of you, so it will be a surprise when you Do get it.

My staph has cleared up and don't you know I went and cut myself again, but since my body is pumped up with a strong antibiodic, this one shouldn't get infected, but watching it closely. I need some heavy duty work gloves just to do ordinary housework.

I am feeling so much better now. God has been good to me and I know that He will get me through this ordeal. I thank you all for your prayers and concerns. You are truly cyber sisters.

I need to explain why me and my husband cannot live together. About 5 years ago, after coming out of ICU, the bills were so bad and we argued constantly, but we still love each other---we are better away from each other than under the same roof. I wanted to leave 5 years ago, because I don't like being yelled at---my mom did it all ours lives. I accept some of the blame for his anger, but at that time, I had no place to go and didn't know what to do until my sister moved and had an apt that I could live in. So I got help---I had been partially disabled until 2003 and now my spine and hip have degenerative disease and only the hip can be fixed. With the way things are going, I will be forced to move back in with him and lose my medical card, so not sure if all my meds can be gotten at Wal-Mart for that $4 price tag. Some of them are very expensive. I know this is a lot to share on public forum. I am now 100% disabled and so afraid to fall and break my hip, as I go into respiratory distress after surgery and don't want to end up in ICU again on a ventilator. I pray often that scientist will discover a way to put back the cushion between the vertbraes, but so far, only gold is available and it's expensive and doesn't last very long. This hopefully will put some questions to rest and I can post the way a true blogger posts.

I am hoping to have things done before Christmas to open my own little etsy shop. I want to sell my cards and squash books and make some glittery things. I also have some craft supplies that I can sell in cute packaging.

Well, hopefully by next week, I can be here more often and post some cool things. Praying for God's Blessings for all of you. Love and Hugs, Pat


Alison Gibbs said...

Pat you are going through a difficult time.
My thoughts are with you

Susie Harris said...

Thanks Pat. What did you make at your craft shows? They are loads of fun but a lot of work. Take Care, Susie

Anonymous said...

(((HUGS))) Pat from Canada... my thoughts and prayers are with you.
Keep me informed if you do change your blog!

Joyce said...

WOW you have a lot going on Pat. I hope it all turns out well. Try not to distress over it all and YES do let God "Work it out" because He can and does.

Do you want to e-mail me and send me the address that I can send your "play it forward" gifts to?? Or can I use the same one that you sent me before. I wasn't sure so I haven't mailed the package off but I am ready to do so whenever. I just wanted to be sure first.

Hang in there and think on GOOOOOD things. It can and will all work out.
Be blessed,